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Christmas Eve Day, December 24, 2008
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The text for the day is: Matthew 1:22-23
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and give
birth to a son, and they will call Him Immanuel" - which means, "God with us."
| Drew Parker Hiltbrand |
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| Drew was just a few days old when this picture was taken. Isn't he beautiful? |
God is with us. He is everywhere, surrounding us. He can be seen in the smile of a brand new baby.
He is the joy emanating within the hearts of parents experiencing for the first time the love they have shared together.
Love they now hold dearly in their arms...
His handiwork is displayed throughout the heavens; a hushed silence covers the earth as the sun prepares to make
an appearance, rising to awaken the world. Rainbow tinted skies slowly disappear into the brilliance of the
early morning star. The new day basks in the light radiating from above.
When we are still and our hearts, our minds are open, we can even hear His voice. It is the laughter of children
joyfully playing, the crash of the waves upon a sandy beach. When the wind dances upon the canvass of autumns'
painted leaves, He exclaims " I love you, do you hear Me?" When the warmth of the summers' sun touches and
gently caresses the face turned upward in awe He whispers, "Do you feel Me?"
It is His song we hear when the birds sing their early morning singing songs.
When our hearts are broken, we can feel His love reaching down to embrace us. His healing grace recieved through
the arms of a kind and understanding friend.
God is present. He is always with us. We just need to open our hearts and our minds. He will open our
eyes through faith...
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The Year That I Got 'Nothin' For Christmas!
Today is really December 27th. But I need to finish my December 24th entry. My Christmas Eve entry.
It was too special to just pass it by with quickly jotted down lines. I was unable to finish that day's memory because
my health did not cooperate fully. I had to stop to put all my energy into the celebration ahead. I have missed
out on too many Christmases because I was too sick to stay up with my family. This year it just had to be different.
I can truly say that it was! Here is my family's Christmas Story...
This year is the first year that my husband, Gary and I decided to not exchange presents with each other.
We have been hit hard by the economy just like everyone else and decided that we could do without this time. We wanted
to give our children a special Christmas.
As Christmas Eve day turned into Christmas Eve night, the excitement level in our home kept rising.
Our six year old, Drew, was so excited he could hardly contain his joy. He spent the day singing, laughing and continually
asking all of us "Can't you hardly wait to have Christmas?" It has been good for my soul to be able to experience Christmas
anew through the eyes of my son. He had spent the weeks prior to Christmas digging through his old toys, books, crayons
and every such thing. Drew even spent his own money at Good Will to purchase items. He then asked for his own
wrapping paper. The next thing I knew, wrapped presents popped up everywhere downstairs in our living areas. They
were scattered from one end of the house to the other. I looked at various packages and recognized his handwriting.
Each present had a name on it, given to his father sister and myself. When I picked up the house I realized that each
of us had at least six or seven packages. I put them under our tree and it looked like Santa had already been there!
Well, on Christmas Eve since our move to Florida, we have recieved an invitation to our next door neighbors'
house. They have a son in the same grade as Drew and he is a wonderful playmate. This night I had made up my
mind that no matter how I felt I was going to share this with my family.
We had such a wonderful evening. Many of the people on our block were there along with many other members
of the Smith Family. (I'll call them the Smith Family to protect their privacy). Laughter floated through the rooms where
children were playing. Conversations were shared served with smiles and hugs.
Then, the big event for Christmas Eve happened and Santa could be heard stomping upon the floor.
Screams of excitement reverberated through the house as the children gathered to each recieve a gift. They took turns
sitting on Santa's lap while flashbulbs lit the room like fireworks during the Fourth of July. (ooooh. I'm so dramatic!)
We returned home after the celebration to get ready for our own celebration early Christmas morning.
I have always celebrated Christmas this way through the years. Anyway, Drew put his pajamas on and went to bed faster
than ever. I climbed the stairs while singing a holiday song and somewhere from the darkness of my son's room I heard
"Be quiet, mom. Santa won't come until we are all asleep." Well, Excuse ME (Steve Martin style).
As soon as it was quiet on the home front and Drew was sound asleep, there was a flurry of activity
to get the children's presents wrapped. Finally everyone was safely tucked into bed...
EARLY CHRISTMAS MORNING... and I mean EARLY. Our son danced into our bedroom. I opened
my gritty eyes to glance at the clock to see that it was 6:45 in the morning. The thought crossed my mind to tell Drew
to go back to bed it was still night time. I looked at the light shining from those hazel brown eyes and I melted.
Gary got up to put on the coffee and Drew followed daddy like a little puppy prancing down the stairs. Mommy and Megan
followed shortly (or maybe a few minutes longer) thereafter.
Daddy played Santa and handed out the gifts. We try to let everyone have a gift before another one
is handed out, but this year as the title of my story reads "The year I got 'nothin' for Christmas." Megan had
asked mostly for money so her presents were also a little sparse.
Drew was so cute because after each gift he opened he got more and more excited and continually exclaimed
"This is my BEST Christmas, ever!" When he opened his Nintendo DS he literally screamed!
After the kids opened their gifts it was time for mom and dad. Gary did have the children purchase
each of us a gift. Then it was time to open the gifts that Drew had wrapped for each of us.
Oh, what a hoot! I honestly couldn't tell you what anyone else recieved except I accidently got one
of Meg's mixed in with mine. Drew bought her plastic plants for her turtle aquariums. So, in between my laughter
and tears I surrendered the plants and went to the next gift in my pile. What did I get? I will try to list all,
but it will probably not be a full list because I was so full of pride and joy, sadness, and every other emotion I can
think of. Megan provided the narration, the story behind each gift...
I got:
Several used books that had been littering my son's floor for months. (I wondered how his room had
suddenly gotten cleaned!)
A brand new pop-up book on the Night Before Christmas. This had been just given to him by a friend
from school.
A dollar store game pad - I had just given him for his birthday. Some of
the games had already been played!!!
A huge science book, the type with questions and the student writes the answers directly in the book.
My daughter Megan explained; "He grabbed that out of the trash when we were walking by our neighbor's house!"
She giggled and gave me a conspirator's smile.
For the life of me I cannot remember the rest of my gifts, or anyone else's for that matter, but I think
you have the idea by now...
How I cried and laughed and laughed and cried! You know, I think it was my BEST Christmas ever, too!
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How proud I am of both my children. They are amazing, wonderful, thoughtful and very loving. I like to think
that I had everything to do with that, but who am I kidding? I know they are the ones who ultimately decide who and
what they want to be. Gary is a great father who has influenced and taught them as well. He is patient, loving,
gentle and kind when parenting our children. I have so many things to be thankful for. So many blessings...
I have to apologize to everyone who might be reading this who did not get my customary Christmas card this year.
It has been a bit difficult to stay on track. I haven't even mailed my father's gift yet. I promise that I will
eventually send out a little letter to as many people as I can.
Well, today is December 27th, 2008. It is late. I am still awake per usual. I have become a
hopeless imsomniac (sp). It is even worse than before. My mind just will not let my body rest. I am in a
constant state of various awake modes. (I don't think that makes sense, but I know what I mean!)
I have been in and out of the hospital for the past few months. They initially diagnosed me (incorrectly)
with pneumonia. When I first spoke to my cancer doctor he looked at me like I was a crazy woman when I asked him if
it was possible that the cancer had spread to my lungs. Emphatically, he repeated no. Well, guess what?
The cancer has spread to my left lung. I guess I didn't have a positive enough attitude which must have caused my cancer
to spread.
I'm sorry. Well, ok, I'm not really. I get so tired of hearing "You have to keep a positive attitude. Those
are the people who survive cancer, you know." Like it is my fault that I have cancer, or that I don't
go into remission because I don't have the best attitude. No, I don't always. Sometimes I'm scared. Sometimes
I'm sad and sometimes I am just dam*ed angry. Not always. I do try to make the most of my time without wasting
what left of it I may have. I am no different than a healthy person who sits and feels sorry for themselves because
their life didn't turn out exactly as they wanted it to. Does this mean they shouldn't be sad, or grieve ever because
they are hurting? NO! Why does a healthy person have the right to grieve, to cry, to be sad when something in
life hurts them? Why don't I have that same right? If a healthy person is hurting, even though they may live for
50 more years, does anyone tell them it is their fault and watch out because if you don't have a positive attitude you won't
survive. NO! And why shouldn't ANYONE have the right to feel when they are hurting? They may not be terminal,
but what happened to them may hurt just as much as someone diagnosed with a terminal disease, such as cancer. I have
that right, too.
I don't know where all that came from, but that's enough! I cannot lose sight of the fact that I am blessed in
ways that other people are not. I can't deny my feelings, but I can suppress them. I don't think that is particularly
healthy, either.
I am a child of God. I am loved. He is with me whether I feel Him, or not. That is why it is called
FAITH.
Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify
your Father which is in heaven. Matthew
5:16
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