Home | Memories Lost and Found | Bob and Stella | Original Music by Kimberly | Poetry and Music | Family and Friends Memory Journal | Games and Bible Trivia | Dedication Page | Bible Verse Devotion Page | About Me | Favorite Links | Resources: Support and Information | Contact Me | Family Photo Album | Daily Journal Entries | NEW JOURNAL ENTRIES

Kimberly's Journal - My Life Journey

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The text for the day is 2 Corinthians 7:10

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

I wish I had my Life Application Bible to refer to.  It is still packed from our move three years ago.  I really would like to know the true meaning of what the Apostle Paul was trying to convey to the church in Corinth.  I know that he was addressing issues of concern for that particular congregation.  But to universalize it, to apply it to today's world, I think it would mean the same thing.  It is a "tough love" theory.  Sometimes something or someone needs to hurt us so deeply that it affects our very soul. If we are truly wise, we are driven to our knees in repentance.  It was a life change/soul change experience that brought us closer to our God.  Unfortunately, these kind of experiences can be the catalyst for the opposite effect.  It can harden our souls, our attitudes, and we lose the lesson, and in jeopardy of losing our eternal lives as well. Which would lead to worldly sorrow and death.  Am I correct?  I don't really know.  But I think I just might be on to something.  I will have to educate myself on this.  If I find anything different I will definately update my thoughts.  

The day after one of my chemo sessions.  I feel ok.  So far the nausea (and other ill effects) have been minimal and tolerable with medication.  I really had a hard time of it last week.  I guess the particular regiment I am on is not suppose to bring on a great many side effects - depending on dosages - so last week they cut out three pre chemo antimetic drugs.  I was so sick all week.  Not fun...
 
I am looking forward to today.  I am feeling ok and ready to tackle some projects around the house and yard in desparate need of attention.  Gary does what he can, but he has enough on his plate.
 
I am hoping I feel well enough to play with Drew again outside.  I like it when the other children in the neighborhood notice when he is outside playing and join in.  I love to hear the laughter resounding throughout the neighborhood.  That is how it should always be.  But for us it is different.  I guess we just need to take these life circumstances and use them for positive growth, empathy, maturity.  I hope my children will be able to do the same thing.  I know they are doing beautifully, considering.

I spoke to my sister, Denise and my father the other day.  Dad was visiting with his girlfriend at my sister's for awhile and then I guess on to Arizona.  No moss growing under his feet!  I wish I were healthy enough to be able to do all of the things I had planned on doing during this time of my life.  I need to find contentment and peace in every situation, I will find a way to do that.  No matter what, I will succeed.  Yes, I cry and have my moments (days?).  In the end, I will have succeeded in learning what I am suppose to.

I miss my sisters - all of my nieces and nephews.  It is such a change from living in one place almost my entire life, make a move thousands of miles away, and be limited to letters, emails, phones.  Somehow it doesn't take the place of a hug, kiss...
 
I do really believe there is a purpose.  My goal in the next few days will be to find alternative healing methods.  I am looking into holistic approaches, dietary changes, anything I can try that might help me lose this cancer.  I believe in miracles - I haven't given up on that.  I know that God hasn't given up yet, either.  I refuse to.  I want to live...

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.               Matthew 5:16