You wouldn't believe the things I have heard come out of the mouths of well meaning, christian people.  Regardless of faith or religous barriers, I hear the following statement more often than I would like to hear it:

 

"Well, you must have done something terrible in your life that God would inflict this disease on you."

 

or people that have prayed for me have actually prayed this prayer:

 

"Please forgive Kimberly from the sinful life that led her to this place..."

 

I am so stunned that my mouth seems to be glued shut.  I can't believe my ears when I hear such ignorance.  I know the people who were trying to comfort me, to give them the benefit of the doubt, just did not realize what they were saying, or somehow, in error, were taught that God in a vengeful temper tantrum struck His children with whatever He fancied at the time. 

 

No.  Absolutely not.  I do not believe that my God who was so loving that He sacrificed His only Son to die for us, to take our place on the cross and conquer sin.  Why would He then strike us dead in a fit of rage?  I have cancer because I am human.  I am susceptible to human disease, tragedy, accidents, and death.  That is life.  For everyone. 

 

Am I a sinner?  Absolutely!  I am the 'perfect' human...  I say things I shouldn't, I do things I shouldn't.  I don't always do the things that I should do.  I don't mean to make these errors and mistakes.  I don't want to make these errors and mistakes.  No matter how hard I try, inevitably I do something stupid.  I need forgiveness.

 

There is another thing that really bothers me that well meaning, wonderful people say.  "If you have a good, positive attitude - it works better than any treatment could to cure your cancer." 

 

WHAT?

 

So it is all my fault that I have cancer in the first place (some terrible sin in my past prompted and made God so angry He struck me with ovarian cancer), and doubly my fault because the cancer continues to spread... (I am not happy about my cancer, well, duh).  I don't know of anyone in their right mind who is happy when given a diagnosis of cancer.  Just imagine going to the doctor, you explain your symptoms, he/she performs some tests.  When the results are finally in, this is the dialogue:  "Congratulations!  You have brain cancer, it's inoperable and I would guess you only have a few months left to live!"  Whew...  you go home and promptly plan a party to celebrate.

 

I apologize for my ill-tempered opinion and expressed dismay.

 

I know that it is extremely hard for people to deal with tragedy, and it is not easy to know what to say to comfort someone who has been diangosed with a terminal illness.  Believe me though when I say the last thing we need to hear is that we "deserve" to have cancer or that we are literally dying because we aren't happy enough with our cancer. This is just wrong.  It doesn't help that a majority of literature on the subject only reinforces these erroneous views.

 

Whew!  Enough of all of that.  I didn't mean to step up on my soap box to preach.  I guess I just needed to get it out of my system.  Gone...