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Kimberly's Journal - My Life Journey
Saturday, February 23, 2008

Another chemotherapy session come and hopefully soon to be gone...  So far it has been successful at keeping the cancer at bay.  But how much longer?  I still have the ascites fluid and two fairly sized tumor areas as well as a cyst on my liver that hasn't been touched yet.  When I am in denial, it's great because I can pretend to be normal.  But then it is time for more maintenance chemo and here I go again, reminded of just how fragile and sick I really am.  I can't stop myself from crying no matter how hard I try.  I am so tired, but I keep pushing forward.  I pray my miracle cure will be here anyday now.  Miracles have happened before and I know that God willing He can give me another one.  Please, Heavenly Father, hear my prayers for physical, spiritual and emotional healing...
 
Love, me

I received an email from my father today about a woman who was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  She found a clinic in Baja, Mexico.  The Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN only gave her three months left to live.  It has now been six years with the treatment she received in Mexico.  I need to try something like that.  I need complete healing;  physical, spiritual, emotional as well as a boost in hope and energy.  I have been fighting this battle so long... 
 
My sister Kathy just found out she has thyroid cancer.  She can be cured completely from her type of cancer.  God has blessed her tremendously.  I know she may not feel that way right now, but I believe in the end she will see that she has been very blessed and fortunate.  I have a neverending story of chemotherapy until God tells me it's time to come home.  I think I am getting closer to that.  But it is still a joy to wake up in the morning to still be in my home with Gary, Megan and Drew and let's not forget Sarah and Tracy (our puppies).  I thank God for everytime that my eyes open and I am still here in this world...  In spite of the pain, I long to stay here a while longer with my loved ones... 

I continue to be humbled and amazed that the gift of life is still mine to thank my Heavenly Father for...  Life is very precious and I pray that I never take it for granted ever again...
 
I am thankful to breathe in the beautiful carribean breeze and to feel the heat of the tropical sun gently warming my face...  When my body dies I will feel a renewed spirit within me and walk into my Savior's waiting arms to rest in peace.  I will be a new living being in Christ and my life will go on to praise and worship my Heavenly Father in heaven.  "verily I say unto thee, today thou shalt be with me in paradise..." 

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.               Matthew 5:16